


as in love with you as i am

by breeeliss



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Confessions, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Personal Conversations, Romance, Slow Burn, Talking, basically ladynoir bonding by answering a bunch of personal questions and becoming closer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-23 09:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13186959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breeeliss/pseuds/breeeliss
Summary: "What if I told you I could make you fall in love with me just by asking you thirty-six questions?""I'd tell you that you need to update your playbook, kitty."--Ladybug and Chat Noir doDr. Aron's Love Experiment.





	1. Set 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilynciann](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lilynciann).



> my secret santa fic for [lilynciann](https://lilynciann.tumblr.com/)!! i thought that some fluffy/romantic ladynoir would be up your alley so i hope you like this little story. it's going to come to you in three parts since it turned out to be anything but little since i got carried away with the word count. oh well ^^;;
> 
> title from the song [angels by the xx](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nW5AF0m9Zw) (i've suddenly been listening to all of their old stuff lately, i miss their music sm)

* * *

  _One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure. -Aron et al. 1997_

* * *

 “What if I told you I could make you fall in love with me just by asking you thirty six questions?”

Ladybug snorted around the rim of her coffee cup as she walked along one of the snow-covered park benches. “I’d tell you that you need to update your playbook, kitty.”

“You know, I’m offended that you think I’d resort to something as unoriginal as a playbook. All of my declarations of love for you are genuine and created in the moment.”

“Whenever a good line comes to you, you’re always rushing to write it down. You have a list of them on your phone.”

Chat Noir protectively pressed his baton to his chest. “Alright, so sometimes genius comes to me unexpectedly and I have to refer back to it so that I can use it on you later. That’s a crime?”

Ladybug tipped her head back and laughed. “No, but that’s exactly what a playbook is, you silly!”

“Well it’s hardly much of a playbook if I’m only using it on one person.”

“I guess that’s true.” She held out her cup so that he could take a gulp of coffee to keep warm. “But I still don’t think playing Thirty-Six Questions is a particularly good play.”

Chat Noir smacked his lips and opened the screen on his baton. “It’s not really a play. It’s more of a social experiment. There’s a paper published on it and everything.”

“Really?” Ladybug hopped down from the bench and looked over Chat’s shoulder while they kept walking. “How does it work?”

“I think the actual study used complete strangers,” Chat Noir explains, “but the point is that if you make two people answer all of these really personal questions, you can accelerate intimacy between them.”

“Just like that? Isn’t that a little unrealistic?”

“Apparently people have tried it and it worked. I mean, I don’t think they _all_ fell in love afterward. But it definitely left them a lot closer once they were done.”

Ladybug reached over his shoulders and started to scroll through the first couple of questions. “Sounds like a gimmick…”

“If you haven’t tried it you can’t call it a gimmick. There are a lot of articles on this.”

Ladybug smirked. “You’re just dying for me to fall in love with you, aren’t you?”

Chat Noir rolled his eyes and handed her coffee back. “I wouldn’t resort to something like this just to get you to fall for me. I’d like for it to happen all on its own so long as you’re not opposed to that.”

She smiled and linked arms with him as they turned down a path that wasn’t as well lit and didn’t have as many people walking along the path. “I always say it’s good to leave yourself open to possibility.”

His laugh was breathy and his smile was a little too wide, but he pulled her closer to his side and tried to keep them on the shoveled part of the path. “Well, anyway. It was just something that popped up on my newsfeed. It’s kind of comforting that there’s some foolproof method of trying to get closer to someone. And it only takes a few minutes.”

“Don’t you think that takes all the fun out of it?” Ladybug asked. “Isn’t the point to let that sort of thing happen gradually?”

“I haven’t read the questions yet, but I think the point of the experiment is to make it gradual. Little by little you’re opening yourself up to the other person and letting them see new parts of yourself. It’s just expediting what people do normally. Or maybe what people are too scared to do without a little help.”

Ladybug hummed and cupped her hands around her coffee when the cold wind started to pick up. “I guess it’s hard to believe that you can do all that just with a handful of questions. Intimacy is a complicated thing to have and even more complicated thing to build.”

Chat Noir considered the point. “Maybe it takes a certain type of personality in order for that sort of push to work. Nothing’s impossible when it comes to two people trying to build a relationship, platonic or otherwise.”

Ladybug tightened the scarf around her neck. “I guess that’s a fair point.”

After Hawkmoth had taken full advantage of all the heightened negative emotions that tended pop up during the holidays, Ladybug and Chat Noir felt that they were entitled to a bit of a break after all the chaos had quieted down. The opportunity didn’t present itself until a few days after Christmas, and the only thing that Chat Noir could think to do was take a walk through the park after sunset when the crowds had thinned to almost nothing. He told Ladybug that he loved walking along the jogging paths when they were only lightly shoveled and still flanked by vast banks of snow that were still undisturbed and pristine.

She wasn’t too keen on spending so much time out in the cold, but once they bundled up over their suits and brought along hot drinks to warm their hands it wasn’t so bad. Besides, it seemed important for Chat to fill their time together with as much talking as possible, as if he’d been deprived of it for the short week he didn’t see her during the holidays. Striking up conversations about silly articles he found online seemed far preferable to spending time at home, and for that Ladybug was willing to brave the chilly weather.

Ladybug found an old gazebo tucked slightly off the path and lit with lampposts that seemed like the perfect place to hide from the wind for a while. When they sat down inside, she noticed Chat Noir fidgeting under the brief silence while she buttoned up the collar of her coat. She wondered if there was something bothering him, but she supposed that if it was extremely personal it wouldn’t be the sort of thing he’d share with her. Still, it didn’t seem like Chat Noir was in any hurry to end the evening and she hated seeing that uncomfortable look on his face he got whenever he was holding something in.

She pointed to his baton. “You wanna give it a try?”

“Give what a try?” he asked. “You…you mean the questions?”

“I’m curious to see if it’ll prove me wrong. A tagline like that is just begging people to test it out anyway.”

Chat Noir tried to hide his smile by biting his lips. “We don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable. Some of these questions can get kind of personal. We have our identities to protect after all.”

“I’m sure there’s no harm in getting personal so long as we don’t share anything that would identify us,” Ladybug reasoned. “Besides, we’re already close friends to begin with. I’m sure it won’t be anything we aren’t used to sharing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Gives us an excuse to stay out a little longer.”

Chat didn’t seem like he was prepared to argue that, so he cleared his throat and opened up the article again so he could retrieve the questions. “I’m not sure what kinds of questions we’re going to come upon, so if you want to stop or skip we can.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Ladybug said. “It’ll be like an adventure.”

He grinned at her answer. “Well, alright then. It looks like there are three sets of questions. Twelve questions each. And I guess each set is more intense than the one before it.”

“Makes sense.”

“Kay, so…one person is supposed to read the question, and the other person is supposed to answer first. Then at the end, it recommends staring at the person for four minutes.”

“Like _just_ staring?”

Chat Noir squinted at the screen. “Yeah, I guess so. Uninterrupted and no speaking. I guess as like a final bonding exercise.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to do that without laughing. I’m always bad at staring contests.”

“Well, now we _have_ to do it. I wanna see how much you suck.”

Ladybug shoved her foot into the meat of his thigh. “Oh hush. Come on. Let’s start with the first one.”

“Okay,” Chat Noir announced. “First question. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”

Ladybug’s answer was immediate. “Rei Kawakubo.”

“Wait I think I’ve heard that name before,” Chat Noir said. “Fashion designer, right?”

“Yup! It’s a tie between her and Yohji Yamamoto. They were huge in the 80s because of how they mixed together Western and Japanese influences in their designs. She’s basically one of my heroes. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who was that revolutionary and unconventional.”

Chat Noir smiled. “Interested in fashion, are you?”

“Very much so,” she nodded. “I love creative people — people who can look at something ordinary and turn it into something never seen before. I’d love to know how her mind works. What drives her inspiration.”

“Well, I’ve seen what your brain can do when it has to look at something ordinary and be creative with it. It’s saved my life a few times if I remember right. I’m sure she’d love to have dinner with you.”

Ladybug dipped her head to hide her blush behind her bangs. “How about you?”

It took Chat Noir a few seconds to answer, but he snapped his fingers and said, “Daniel Jérent.”

“Who’s that?”

He brightened up at the opportunity to explain. “A French épée fencer who was a team world champion in the 2016 Olympics. He isn’t quite as good as Gauthier Grumier but he’s going to grow so much from here on out, I can feel it. He won the Paris World Cup, after all. And now that he’s got a gold medal he’s set to do nothing but great things.”

Ladybug stared at him in delight. “I didn’t know you followed fencing so seriously.”

“I’ve been fencing since I was four,” he told her. “Daniel’s career is starting to get to a really exciting point, and I’d love to hear what advice he’d have for someone like me.”

Her chest swelled with pride. “Chat Noir in the 2020 Olympics. I’d be honored to watch you.”

“The Olympics are a bit ambitious,” he laughed. “But, to me, he’s proof that passion and persistence always pays off. You’ll eventually get where you’re going if you care enough and try hard enough. That’s a beautiful thing, don’t you think?”

“I definitely do.” She leaned over to playfully ring the bell hanging by his neck. “That wasn’t too bad.”

“It’s only the first question. We’ve got a long way to go.”

“Alright, what’s the next one?”

Chat Noir read, “Would you like to be famous? In what way?”

“I’m assuming we should ignore the fact that we’re already famous superheroes?”

“Do you want to be famous for a different reason?” he asked.

“More than anything,” Ladybug admitted. “I’m not interested in the glamour or the theatrics. I think more than anything, I want to be recognized for my talents. Like you said, passion and persistence pays off, and I’d like the payoff to match the amount of work I put into what I care about. I want the world to know how serious I am about becoming the best I can be. I’ll reach as high as I can to make that happen.”

Chat Noir winked. “Jumping straight into the fashion world I’m assuming?”

“Becoming a designer who’s respected in her field and has her own label filled with all of her own designs is the dream. I want to make an impact on people.”

“That’s a good mindset to have,” he said. “Aim for the best version of yourself and not necessarily for the fame itself. Fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway.”

Ladybug furrowed her brows. “Didn’t expect that answer from you…”

“Why not?”

“You’re always flexing for the cameras and handing out autographs like they’re candy. I thought you loved the attention.”

Chat Noir shrugged. “It’s different being a superhero. People admire us because we save lives and keep them safe. And I know sometimes reporters can get a bit nosy and out of hand, but there’s only so much privacy they can invade when no one knows who we are. When it’s actually _you_ out there for the whole world to look at…it feels more like you’re an attraction at the zoo.”

“Like you’re constantly on display?”

“Exactly. You have to be perfect all the time. You have to act the way people want you to act. You relinquish your privacy. You become a commodity to entertain people and you stop being yourself at a certain point. I wouldn’t want that to happen to me. I’d rather live humbly and comfortably if I had to choose.”

Ladybug didn’t miss how rehearsed his answer sounded and wondered why that could possibly be. “You’ve given this a lot of thought…”

“I guess so.” He stared at his hands for a few moments before clearing his throat and looking up at her again. “Next question?”

He didn’t seem interested in dwelling, so Ladybug let it drop. “Sure.”

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?”

“Sometimes,” Ladybug admitted. “When I get over-excited, I kinda talk too fast for people to understand me. My thoughts tend to be all over the place and it’s hard to keep up since I like jumping from one thing to the next. Practicing just helps others understand me.”

“I can see that,” Chat Noir chuckled. “Sometimes you explain your plans to me and it sort of goes over my head. In a good way! You’re brilliant! But your brain runs too quickly for me.”

Ladybug covered her face with her hands. “Sorry, sorry. I’m working on it.”

Chat Noir searched the roof of the gazebo for his own answer. “I don’t think I ever rehearse when I’m on the phone. Well, actually. I take that back. I rehearse what I say whenever I talk to my father.”

Ladybug frowned. “Why’s that?”

He sighed and tried to make his answer seem as casual as possible. “It’s always best to make clear exactly what you want from him. He doesn’t like it when people waste his time.”

“I’m sure nothing concerning you is a waste of time, though.”

“My, uh…my father has his priorities,” Chat Noir sighed.  “And he’s very busy with his work. If I dare come in between that, it had better be something important. Which makes sense, I guess. He’s got an important job.”

Chat Noir’s father had never been a topic of conversation before, and Ladybug immediately understood why. The careless tone of his voice wasn’t enough to hide the tension in his body while he answered, and she figured that this probably wasn’t the best time to prod at such a complicated subject. So she gracefully accepted the answer. “What’s next?”

“What would constitute a perfect day for you?”

Ladybug tapped her lips. “No responsibilities for a day or the day after it. Just free range to work on whatever personal projects I want without the anxiety of worrying that I should be doing something more important. It’s rare to have that much time to myself.”

“Ditto on the no responsibilities for that day or the day after it, but I wouldn’t spend it alone,” Chat Noir said. “I’d call every friend I knew and spend the entire day with them. It wouldn’t matter what we did specifically. So long as I’m surrounded by good company it would be a brilliant day.”

Ladybug smiled. Based on the how they spent their day so far, that sounded like a very Chat Noir answer.

Chat Noir grinned. “Oh here’s a fun one. When did you last sing to yourself and when did you last sing to someone else?”

“To myself? This morning getting ready to go New Years’ shopping. And I don’t really sing to other people, so I can’t remember when I last sang to someone. I don’t have the best singing voice so I usually just save it for the shower.”

Chat Noir snickered behind his hand. “That’s really cute, my lady. But now you have to sing for me one day.”

“Oh god, never.”

“I also sang to myself when I got ready this morning. But the last person I sang to was my best friend this past Saturday. I was staying over at his house and whenever we watch Saturday morning cartoons, we always sing along to the opening songs as loud as we can until we wake the whole house up.”

“Yup. That sounds like you, alright.”

Chat Noir winked and moved on. “If you were able to live to the age of ninety and retain either the mind or the body of a thirty year old for the last sixty years of your life, which would you want?”

Ladybug whistled. “Wow, that came out of nowhere.”

“Yeah,” Chat Noir winced. “I guess this is where they start to get deeper.”

She puffed out her cheeks and fell back against the floor. “I guess…I’d pick a thirty year old mind.”

Chat Noir lied down next to her and propped himself up on his elbow. “Why’s that?”

“I guess I’d rather keep my mind sharp in my old age. Just for the sake of practicality,” she clarified. “I’m an artist. I want to be able to keep coming up with fresh ideas for as long as I can. What happens to my body is less relevant.”

Chat Noir hummed in thought and took longer than she did to give his own response. “Thirty year old body.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, saw that coming.”

Chat Noir flicked her forehead. “It’s not for the reasons you think. I don’t ever want to be slowed down, you know? I don’t want to be cooped up in my house all day as an old man. I want to be able to travel, to see things, to breathe new air, and meet new people. I’ve always said I wanted to be one of those old men who’s like unnaturally fit and can still do sit ups and run 5k.”

Ladybug smiled at the joke. “I never thought of that. That’s a good answer.”

“Yours was too. There are lots of brilliant things going on in that pretty little head of yours. I wouldn’t want to lose that either if I were you.”

She beamed at the genuine compliment, but the warmth in her chest didn’t last long once Chat Noir started reading the next question.

“Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

The last word hung heavily between them, and the park was suddenly too quiet and filled with too much empty space. They both looked at each other with an odd severity in their eyes that made it clear they were both thinking the same thing.

Ladybug started tangling her fingers in her yoyo string. “Well that got morbid quickly.”

“I don’t think it was meant to be morbid,” he tried to explain. “We just have a lot of occupational hazards to think about.”

Ladybug sighed. “Yeah. Tell me about it.” It was difficult to ignore the fears that came with doing her job, especially when her magic was the difference between her ability to live on another day and a quick end to her stint as a superhero. Chat Noir and the rest of Paris depended on that magic as well, and it sometimes made her sick wondering what would happen if that magic were to fail or if she were too slow in making use of it. She was sure that Chat Noir held some of those anxieties too, especially when it came to making sure she wasn’t caught in the wrong crossfire.

Suffice it to say it wasn’t a topic they liked bringing up very often, so Chat laid a hand over hers and decided to give them an out. “Let’s skip this one.”

Ladybug nodded and they left it at that.

He didn’t bother moving his hand as he tried to find the next question. “Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.” He practically tripped in his hurry to lighten the mood after such a dark question. “Well, now this is too easy.”

Ladybug snorted and tried to put in the same effort, eager to leave pessimistic musings deep in the back of her mind. “Now, now, who knows. We might have to work hard to figure this out.

Chat Noir lifted up one finger. “Owning magical jewelry enchanted with the powers of thousand year old gods that gives us the ability to gain logic defying superpowers and stylish outfits.”

“Check.”

“Ah, do you ever get sore after fights? Like I know the suits are meant to protect us and stuff, and they do. But I think sometimes they can’t block out everything because there are days where I wake up the next morning feeling like I got run over by a truck.”

“Same!” Ladybug exclaimed. “It’s right after you take really bad hits, right? Remember that time we both got slammed into that brick building a couple of weeks ago?”

“Oh god,” Chat groaned. “My whole back was on fire for like three days. It was the worst.”

“That akuma was brutal.”

Chat Noir stroked his chin and tried to come up with one more answer. He gasped, waggled his eyebrows, and flashed a wolfish grin. “We’re both devilishly good looking.”

“How astute of you,” she teased.

“Merely pointing out what was so achingly obvious,” Chat Noir chuckled.

Ladybug rolled her eyes and tucked her hands behind her head as she tried to come up with a creative answer. “We’re both really passionate about our jobs,” she began, “but we’re also really afraid of what it means to fail at them.” She felt Chat Noir shift beside her when she said it, but he didn’t say anything and allowed her to continue.

“We’re afraid of letting down all the people who look up to us everyday to keep them safe. But…I guess the good thing about that is that it’s made us comfortable trusting each other with our lives precisely because we know how high the stakes are if we lose. It makes it really hard for us to fail because our faith is so strong.”  

She didn’t mean to give such a sentimental response, but it didn’t seem like Chat Noir minded because his head was tilted to the side as he looked at her with eyes filled with affection and warmth. They didn’t often have the opportunity to put their dynamic into words and how it often felt like some powerful connection that neither of them could have ever prepared for or predicted. But it was nice to acknowledge it for what it was, and Ladybug was proud of what she and Chat Noir had accomplished.

He hid his laughter in the crook of his elbow, trying his hardest not to let his happiness spill out all at once. “That was a really good answer, my lady.”

“I figured we needed a pick me up from the last question. We can dwell on the negatives, but I’m more impressed by all the good we’ve accomplished. The two of us have come a long way, haven’t we?”

Chat Noir took her hand and pressed a kiss on the back of it. “Indeed we have.” He stared down at his phone and laughed. “I guess this is actually a perfect segue. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?”

Ladybug tapped his nose. “Aside from you?”

“ _Obviously_.”

She smiled and tried to think about her life outside of being Ladybug. “My best friend probably,” she answered. “My mother always says you should treasure the people that bring out the best parts in you. I feel like I wouldn’t have known a lot of things about myself had it not been for her, and I thank the universe everyday that she walked into my life. In a way she gave me the courage I needed to become Ladybug without even realizing it.”

Chat Noir went quiet as he twisted his ring around his finger. “This might be a cliche answer, but…my miraculous is the only thing I can really think of.”

“I mean, I understand that.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I dunno, I’m not really like you. There isn’t anything I’m really passionate about that I want to do for the rest of my life and keep getting better at until I’m the best that I can be. I’ve always just done what I was told and gone with the flow to make everyone around me happy. But now I have a _choice_. I can choose to be a hero and I can choose what kind of person I want to be so long as I’m wearing this ring. It’s the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me.”

Ladybug squeezed the hand that Chat Noir was still holding. “I like that answer.”

“Thanks,” he smiled. But when he scanned the next question, his expression quickly turned solemn. “Oh boy, uh…if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

Ladybug’s heart did a little hiccup when he finished, and his hand fell away from hers. He kept his gaze on the gentle snowfall that had started up around them, and suddenly she was grateful to go first and give him time to think. She had a strange feeling he was thinking of an answer that revolved around his father. She hoped that she was wrong.

“I don’t want to make it seem like I’m unhappy with how I was raised, but I guess I wished my family had more money. I mean, we had enough. But my parents own a business and trying to get it off the ground meant that everyone was only allowed one Christmas present and one birthday present, and they’d always be under thirty euros because that’s all my parents could afford for a really long time.” She paused, frowned, and shook her head. “Nah, never mind. That was a selfish answer.”

“It’s not selfish at all,” Chat Noir assured, although his voice sounded oddly hollow. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little bit more for yourself. I’m sure your parents wished they could get you more too. It’s not a crime to wish that things could’ve been better.”

“That’s true,” she decided. “But they raised me so well regardless. I guess it’s hard to come up with an answer because there really isn’t anything I’d want to change. They both did their best and I’m happy with where we are.”

“You’re lucky,” he replied. “Sometimes I wonder if living humbly is better. Like when you have to depend on each other for strength and find happiness in little things because it’s all you have. Like…family becomes all the more important.”

Ladybug swiped aside his bangs. “Did you grow up with a lot?”

“Yeah, my family’s pretty well off,” Chat Noir admitted. “Father owns a business too, but it’s pretty big and takes up a lot of his time. Left us with a lot of money and I pretty much had whatever I wanted growing up, but my father sort of thought that he could get away with just throwing things at me so that he didn’t have to worry about showing me too much attention. He’s always traveling, always working, always locked in an office, always talking to someone. And whenever I poke my head into his office, he just hands me his credit card or sends an employee to take care of me instead.”

Ladybug felt her chest start to ache. “Chat, that’s awful…”

“I mean, for a while it was kind of my normal,” he explained. “I had it a lot worse than some of my other rich friends, but their parents were almost exactly the same. When you have stuff you think it’s enough to just fill the gaps in between the people you care about with manufactured love. Because it’s easier. You just swipe a credit card and that’s it. But, I don’t know, it gets to you when your own father doesn’t even have time to come to career days at school or watch you in sports games.”

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear Chat Noir’s official answer, but he gave it to her anyway. “I guess I wish we weren’t rich. Or I wish that my father’s company wasn’t the most important thing in his life. Really anything that could’ve just kept him present a little bit more.” He bit the inside of his cheek and turned away from Ladybug. “This was a stupid question…”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t really make sense to wonder about whether or not you could change things that have already happened. It just makes you mope about what could’ve been but never will be. It’s depressing, that’s all.”

Ladybug sat up. “We don’t have to talk about it anymore. That can be the end of the question. We both answered already.”

Chat Noir was still turned away and muttered into his arm. “Alright…”

They decided to skip the eleventh question since “take four minutes and tell your partner about your life story in as much detail as possible” was rather hard to do while keeping their identities a secret. Besides, Chat Noir seemed like he was thoroughly fed up with talking about his personal life at the moment and Ladybug was prepared to take advantage of any opportunity to pull the heat away from that topic. So Chat Noir skipped down to number twelve and mumbled quietly, “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?”

Ladybug wasn’t really feeling the spirit of the exercise anymore, but she supposed the point of this was to finish the questions in their entirety, and they promised each other they’d do it together. “To not need sleep,” she answered. “So I can handle being a person and being Ladybug at the same time without feeling so wiped out all the time.”

When he didn’t answer right away, Ladybug crawled to the other side of Chat Noir so that she could see him staring absently at the bare trees and lampposts lining the walkway just a few meters away from where they were sitting. “What about you?” she asked gently.

Chat Noir’s answer was quiet and cryptic. “Courage. I’d want to wake up with more courage.”

Her finger tips traced the bridge of his nose before she cupped his cheek. “You’re awfully brave to begin with. It’s hard to imagine you with even more.”

“Not that kind of courage,” Chat Noir clarified. “Having the courage to fight what’s bad is easy. I want the courage to be able to do other things. Harder things.” He clicked his baton shut and let it clatter to the floor. “That’s the end of the first set.”

Ladybug rubbed her thumb along his cheekbone and decided that it was probably as good a time as any to take a little bit of a break. There was nothing in the rules that said that wasn’t allowed. “Want to stop by somewhere for some hot chocolate? I’m buying.”

Chat Noir finally managed to look her in the eyes. “Are we stopping?”

“Just for now,” Ladybug promised. “But it might be better to do the rest of these someplace warm if they’re set to get any deeper than they already have. Besides, I think we could both use a little food in us.”


	2. Set 2

Ladybug took them to a small café tucked away on a quiet street that she knew wouldn’t have any customers at such a late hour. When the hostess ushered them in from the cold, Ladybug only had to press a finger to her lips before they were given a table towards the back hidden away from the windows so they wouldn’t be disturbed. Ladybug insisted on paying, but the staff eagerly piled their table high with warm sandwiches, sweet pastries, and large cups of thick hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and cinnamon.

The really lovely thing about Chat Noir was that it didn’t take too much to cheer him back up. Once Ladybug took a huge sip of her hot chocolate and got whipped cream all over her nose, he practically fell to the floor in hysterics and couldn’t wipe the grin off his face for the next hour. Ladybug always assumed it was because Chat Noir was really good at pulling amusement out of the littlest of things, and perhaps that was still true to an extent. But now she wondered if that was more a habit than an inherent quality.

Their masks forced a distance between them that usually prevented them from sharing very many details about their home life. Ladybug would have never guessed that Chat Noir’s home life was as cold and lonely as he made it sound, and perhaps finding humor and teasing the daylights out of her was his way of trying to lighten up his days after being faced with indifference and closed doors. The thought alone was so awful that Ladybug found herself sitting on the same side of the booth as Chat Noir and staying as pressed close to him as she could. The staff was certainly looking at this as if it were a date, but Ladybug didn’t care. If there was ever a time that affection was warranted, it was now, and she wanted to make sure he felt her body shake when she laughed at his jokes.

Eventually, she wound up with her legs draped over his lap and Chat Noir’s head resting on her shoulder. They were recovering from a long bout of laughter when Chat Noir managed to mutter a soft thank you in Ladybug’s neck.

“Of course, kitty,” Ladybug told him. “I just hate seeing you look so sad.”

“I didn’t mean to let myself get so down. I usually don’t get that upset talking about him. I’m used to it, really I am.”

Ladybug idly started playing with the ends of his hair. “You don’t have to apologize for getting upset about it in front of me. You don’t have to hide what you’re feeling around me. I’m touched you’d even trust me with something so personal.”

Chat Noir smiled. “I guess the experiment is working.”

Ladybug giggled as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“But seriously. I don’t want you to worry about me or anything like that. Sure there are some things that aren’t ideal, but you’re one of the things in my life that fill me with impossible joy. As long as you’re here with me, I’ll always be alright.”

She touched a short kiss to the top of his head and felt him purr against her. “Same here.”

Chat Noir jutted his chin towards her yoyo. “Wanna keep going? I’m feeling a little better now.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure they’re just going to get more personal.”

“Well, we have hot chocolate and cookies now. And now we can brace ourselves for some of the tougher questions and be prepared for them. I’m sure we’ll be alright. Besides, I trust you.”

He squeezed his arms tighter around her to prove the point, and Ladybug decided that it was worth it to continue if only because she didn’t quite feel like leaving him and going home yet. They decided to let Ladybug read the questions from her yoyo for this set and have Chat Noir answer the questions first instead, so she did a quick search on her compact and pulled up the questions to continue where they left off.

“Alright,” Ladybug began. “Number thirteen. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?”

Chat Noir hummed against her skin. “Where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing in ten years. Now that we’re going to lycée soon, it’s like all anyone can talk about is what they want to be and what they want to study, and I feel like I keep coming up short on that. It’d be nice to get some confirmation from the future so that I know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

Ladybug sucked on her bottom lip. “I’d like to know what my kwami saw in me when she decided I was fit to be Ladybug.”

Chat lifted his head to stare at her. “You absolutely deserve to be Ladybug. Don’t think for one second that you don’t.”

“No, I know,” she assured. “I don’t think I’m undeserving of it. But being Ladybug is such a huge responsibility. And she has to be so many things. Sometimes I feel like I’m too young or too inexperienced to embody all of that and it makes me wonder if I’m doing enough. Like maybe I can get even better if I could just look within myself and see how deep my potential runs. It’d be like a chance to see myself through the eyes of another person.”

Chat Noir nodded. “Hoping that others can see something inside of you that you just keep missing. Some untapped potential or hidden talent.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I understand that,” he decided. “But I hope you don’t think that means you’re lacking in some way. It’s one thing to not know what’s hidden inside you, and quite another thing to think that you’re inferior for not being able to see it. Sometimes these sorts of things just take time.”

Ladybug thought of all the close calls and moments of doubt that had almost paralyzed her in the middle of battle and wondered if it really was as simple as being kind to herself and letting that strength slowly furl out of her over time. “I’ve always been really impatient,” she admitted.

But Chat Noir tapped the tip of her nose and smirked. “Well, we can’t rush genius, now can we?”

Ladybug snorted at the corny line but felt her chest grow warm at the compliment anyway. “Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?”

Chat answered quickly. “Definitely confessing to the person I’m in love with.”

Ladybug tilted her head. “You never told me you were in love with someone. Are you serious?”

“I haven’t told you this? I’m pretty sure I mentioned it.”

“You told me, and I’m directly quoting here, that you’re a small man with a big heart who constantly mourns his inability to woo all the beautiful women in the world, even the ones who pale in the light of my own beauty.”

He stuck his tongue out. “I’m flattered you remembered one of my best pick up lines to date.”

“ _That’s_ subjective.”

“That’s all just me talking, you know that,” he said, sobering up for a moment. “The hero is supposed be all suave, chivalrous, and brilliant with the ladies. But, in all seriousness, there’s a girl that means a lot to me and I’ve never figured out a way of telling her that all my talk isn’t just talk. I’ve tried before but it was either the wrong time or I totally chickened out trying to do it.”

“Is it a fan? Do I know her?”

Chat Noir smirked. “Not telling.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Nope, nope nope. My lips are sealed. But I think you’d like her.”

“How do you know?”

Chat Noir shrugged and pressed his forehead against her temple. “She reminds me of you. The two of you have a lot in common, so it wasn’t hard at all to totally fall for her.”

“Oh…” she breathed out. He got away with dodging the severity of the statement by flagging down the hostess and asking for a hot chocolate refill, but by the time she’d walked off with his long list of flavor additions Ladybug had already scared herself out of goading him for more hints.

It wasn't the first time that Chat Noir suddenly said things that made Ladybug think that perhaps his infatuation with her was just a little bit deeper than he liked to pretend it was. His words were a little too pretty to just be pretend in her opinion. But he'd always flit right back to humor and theatrics before Ladybug could have a chance to challenge it, so she could never be quite sure what he was thinking. Even now he was laughing at the pile up of food they still hadn't made a dent in as if he hadn't just told her that the girl of his dreams was irresistible simply because she shared qualities with Ladybug.

Ladybug realized she'd been quiet for a little too long. "Why haven't you told her?"

"The same reason most people don't confess to their crushes. I'm afraid she'll say no. It wouldn't change anything if she did, I'd still think she was wonderful and I'd still be friends with her. But it hurts to have that sort of thing confirmed. Ignorance is bliss and all that." He leaned his head back over the booth seat. "But enough about me. What about you?"

Ladybug dropped her gaze to her lap. She didn't want to see the look on his face when she told him. "Well...funny you bring up confessions. There's a boy that I've been meaning to confess to for the better part of a year but I also haven't done it."

To his credit, he only hesitated for a few seconds, and his voice was rather clear when he spoke. "Do _I_ know him?"

"Not telling."

"Fair enough." He cleared his throat. "Why, uh...why haven't you said anything?"

There isn't a rehearsed answer in her head, so her thoughts leave her mouth the moment they enter her head. "Well, before I would've said the same thing as you. I was nervous because I was afraid of the type of answer I'd get. But lately it's been more confusing than that."

"Confusing how?"

"I like this boy, I do. But sometimes I share a laugh with someone or look them in the eye and think 'I could probably fall for this person too if I gave it the time.' And then I wonder if it's better to explore my feelings and try to get to know other people better before I confess to just one person. Like maybe I should wait to confess until I'm sure that the little spurts of _something_ I'm feeling for other people aren't just passing notions. Does that make sense?"

She sneaked a glance at him and was relieved to see he didn't look hurt. He looked pensive and was chewing the inside of his cheek as if seriously considering her words. "I think it does. Sort of like wanting to explore the potential of other things, right?"

"Exactly."

Chat Noir bit his lip. "Were you speaking in general or is there really someone else you don't know how you feel about?"

"He's a specific person. You'd like him."

"Let me guess?" Chat Noir smirked. "He reminds you of me?"

Ladybug smirked back. "Yeah, actually. He does."

They spent too long on the question, and Ladybug hurried to find the next one while Chat Noir stared at her with a look of bewilderment. "What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?"

Chat Noir's brain struggled to catch up with the change in topic. "Um...I guess...I don't know, I can't say that it's one specific thing. I feel like anytime we help an akuma victim into an ambulance or pluck a kid out of a burning building that makes me feel better than anything else in the world.”

Ladybug nodded. “I agree. I think we have the same answer on that one.” She scrolled down. “Oh, here’s a good one. What do you value most in a friendship?”

He drummed his claws in thought against her hip. “I guess…candor. It’s important to me that my friends are willing to be open and honest with me and not feel like they have to hide things from me. That’s part of the reason why I like you so much. You always say what you feel and I never get the sense you’re being distant with me.”

She liked his answer. It made sense considering what she knew about him now. “I would say,” Ladybug said, “loyalty is what I value most. If you’re willing to stand by me and support me through all the awfulness in the world, you’d be the perfect friend. And that’s also why I like you. We haven’t known each other long but I know that you would never abandon me or ever do something to betray my trust.”

Chat Noir pressed a kiss to her shoulder as she continued on. “What is your most treasured memory?”

It turned out to be another answer that came to him quickly. “Camping out in the living room with my mother every Christmas Eve and waiting for Père Noël to show up. We’d hide under the blankets with cookies and tea and play games until I fell asleep. Then she’d carry me up to my room and place all the presents under the tree. And every year I’d be so mad because I kept falling asleep before he showed up.”

“That’s so adorable,” Ladybug giggled. “Do you and your mother still do it?”

She thought for sure that focusing on happy memories with his mother would be a much more preferable conversation topic than dwelling on his distant father. But it seemed like that wasn’t the best strategy because his wistful smile had suddenly been replaced with a look of discomfort as he coughed into his fist and reached across their table for more food. “Uh…n-no, no we don’t really…I mean I’m too old for it, you know? So we really don’t…yeah, no, not anymore.”

Ladybug suddenly felt silly for asking. “Oh. Well, okay.” She tried to scramble around for her own answer. “Um…I guess mine is finally having enough money from working registers at my parents’ shop and babysitting for friends for me to finally afford my own sewing machine. A brand new one, not the hand-me-down one I’d been using before.”  

Chat Noir gave an empty smile, but tried his best to sound enthusiastic. “That’s a nice one.”

She was afraid she’d put him in an awful mood again, so she hurried to the next question in an attempt to skip over the topic. But Ladybug should’ve known that if the list had asked them what their best memory was, it would stand to reason that the next question would ask them what their worst memory was. She winced when she read it aloud and she could feel Chat’s body tensing up in preparation for the awkwardness that was soon to follow after being forced to share something upsetting. Ladybug immediately backtracked and scrolled down her phone. “You know what, let’s just skip this one — ”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Chat Noir promised. “We said we’d get through all the questions, so I wanna answer.”

Ladybug collected both of his hands in hers and pressed kisses to his knuckles while he wracked his brain trying to come up with a proper way of phrasing his response. He let out a forced laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck and stared off into a point in space. “So, uh…weird thing about my mom. She and my father used to get into a lot of fights when I was younger. I think once my father’s company took off he didn’t just grow distant with me. I was always sort of bracing myself for a divorce because it felt inevitable. But, uh…they never got a chance to get divorced because my mom sort of up and left about two years ago.”

“Wait, what?” Ladybug gasped. “What do you mean she just up and left?”

“I mean, exactly that,” Chat Noir explained. “One day she was home and the next she wasn’t. All her stuff was gone and she didn’t tell anyone where she was going. She didn’t even tell _me_ where she was going. I literally woke up one Sunday morning and came to bring her tea in bed like I always do and she…wasn’t there.” He let out a long breath and blinked his eyes rapidly as if to hold something back. “So I guess my worst memory is standing in that doorway and looking at her empty closet thinking she didn’t just want to get away from my father. She wanted to get away from me too.”

His hands started trembling, and Ladybug didn’t know what else to do except pull Chat Noir’s head against her chest and hug him close so that he could feel her heartbeat and know that she was here with him and that she wasn’t going to go anywhere without him. Chat Noir made a noise against her, but she was too scared to look down and check to see if it was a snort or a sob being choked back. “That’s so awful, Chat, I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine,” he mumbled, trying to force smiles and rationalize the horrid feelings he’d accidentally unearthed. “I mean, she always used to talk about feeling trapped in that house and in that marriage. And she always used to say that she felt like getting in her car and driving far far away and never looking back. I don’t blame her for it, I really don’t. She wasn’t happy with my father and I’m sure she needed to get some air. Now that it’s been a couple of years I understand why she left. She couldn’t just take me with her. I had a life here and it didn’t make sense to uproot me because she needed space. But…it’s definitely not easy to wake up and find your mother gone like she just disappeared in a puff of smoke.”  

“Have you tried looking for her? Has she ever called? Sent letters?”

“I feel like there may have been a couple of times she called,” Chat Noir admitted. “I can’t be sure since it’d always be from a strange number and the other line would go dead once I picked up. My father has tried looking everywhere for her, but either he gave up or she told him not to go looking anymore. He won’t tell me.” He shook his head a little and pulled Ladybug’s pigtails over her shoulders. “I know it sounds awful, but it’s really alright. I know she’s safe. And I think in a weird way it was what was best for her. I can be satisfied with that.”

Ladybug cupped Chat Noir’s cheeks and pressed a long kiss to his forehead. “Oh, kitty, you’re too good to have gone through all of this nonsense, you don’t deserve a scrap of it.”

When they first met, Ladybug had always chalked all of Chat Noir’s theatrics up to a cocky, overconfident need to have the attention on him at all times. It was easy to not take him seriously and, more importantly, not to fall for him because she was never really fond of people who were full of themselves despite how dependable and loyal he was as a partner. But he was a boy whose father ignored him and whose mother left him. A boy like him probably reached out and frantically grabbed at whatever affection and companionship he could, and now it made sense why someone like him would mark finding his miraculous as the one thing he was most grateful for.

It hurt to think she had him figured all wrong, and suddenly all she wanted to do was keep Chat Noir in her arms for a thousand years and give him five times the love he should’ve been getting from his parents all these years.

Chat Noir kissed her forehead back and patted her compact. “Come on. I don’t want to dwell on it. You still haven’t given me your answer and we still have half the questions left.”

“No, no, mine is honestly silly compared to yours,” Ladybug told him. “I don’t have to share it.”

“Nothing about you is silly,” Chat frowned. “Don’t let my answer keep you from sharing. I want to hear what you have to say.”

Ladybug huffed. “I mean…I don’t know, I guess…when I was ten or so I had this habit of picking up strays and sneaking them home to try and keep them. My parents always made me take them back to the shelters when they caught me, but that didn’t keep me from trying.”

Chat Noir stuck his tongue out at her. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Well, I was on my way to school one day,” Ladybug went on, “and I heard this whining from behind one of the dumpsters along the street. And I checked inside and there was this tied off garbage bag that was wriggling around and sitting in a puddle of water and gunk at the bottom of the dumpster. So I crawled inside and ripped open the bag and I found this teeny tiny puppy, not even six months old. Wet, cold, and looking like he’d been beat up or hurt pretty bad.”

Chat Noir covered his mouth with his hand. “Oh my god…”

“Some monster hurt that poor dog, tied him up in a bag, and left him to die in the garbage. A tiny little thing that wasn’t old enough to protect itself or have anyone to protect him. And the only thing I’m thinking is that I’m the only person who can do something about it. So I ripped off my jacket — in the middle of winter — wrapped him up, and just sprinted to the closest vet. I skipped school and I burst into this office crying and sobbing because he had stopped barking and he was still shivering and they needed to do something quick before he died.”

“Did he?”

Ladybug sighed. “I mean, yeah, he was in too bad shape. I didn’t get to him in time. But I was ten and I took it really hard so I just totally lost it in the waiting room. I was screaming at them to let me see him, but they wouldn’t let me, and I was crying so hard I couldn’t get air into my lungs. My parents had to come get me because I was inconsolable and couldn’t make it home. And I don’t know, for almost two weeks the only thing that I could think of was that there truly were ugly, horrible people in the world and sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard you try. You can’t do anything to stop them from ruining what they touch.”

He was stroking her hair again, and she leaned into the touch. “That’s horrifying, my lady, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I did my best, and there wasn’t much I could do anyway. But I guess that’s why it’s always mattered to me to be honest and do the right thing. I want to be able to fight against all that awfulness in the world somehow.”

Chat Noir gave her a sad, crooked smile before handing her one of the cups of hot chocolate. “Come on. Drink up. We need it. That was a rough question.”

They both agreed to finish half of their drinks and eat one more sandwich apiece before they moved onto the next question in the set.

“Good grief, so many of these questions are depressing,” Ladybug bemoaned. “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you’re now living? Why?”

Chat Noir winced. “Well, I’d probably go ahead and get on with that confession.”

Ladybug burst into laughter. “I second that.”

“I don’t know, I never thought about my life in that way before,” Chat Noir said. “I’d probably try to find my mother. Spend as much time with my friends as possible. Maybe convince my father to let me travel a bit over the summer and just try to see everything I can.”

“I dunno, I don’t think I’d change much, actually. I’d tell my parents everyday that I loved them. I’d try to bury all my grudges and maybe fix my relationships with people who I don’t care much for. Just leave the world with as little negativity and bad karma as possible. That way I can die with a fresh, clean slate.” Ladybug snapped her fingers. “Actually, you know what? I’d probably try and find Hawkmoth a hell of a lot quicker.”

Chat Noir whistled and held out his fist. “Ooh, I will fist bump to _that_.”

Ladybug knocked fists with him and breathed out in relief at the next item. “The next one’s about friendship, but we sort of already answered that one. The one after that is what roles do love and affection play in your life?”

Chat Noir puffed out his cheeks while he thought. “I’m desperate for them to play a bigger role in my life than they do. I feel like I’m holding in all this love and there’s nowhere for it to go.”

Ladybug pulled him closer so that his head was tucked against her shoulder again. “They play a big role in my life only because I try to have love for everyone who shows me kindness. I’m also a really tactile person so I’m always affectionate towards people that I’m close with. That’s why it’s nice to sit with you like this. I care about you and I like showing that care through touching. It just feels natural to me.”

“It’s nice,” he agreed. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend who hugged and touched me as much as you do. The only other person who showed me that much affection was my mother so it’s really nice. I never get to thank you for that as often as I’d like.”

“Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five,” Ladybug read.

“Only five?” Chat Noir pouted. “That’s simply a crime.”

“Well do your best to be succinct and share the best ones,” she teased.

“Okay. I think you have a gorgeous smile. And I’m not saying that to flirt or be funny. I genuinely think that whenever you smile it’s stunning.”

He said it with such honesty that Ladybug decided to indulge him and flash him with one of those smiles. “Your sense of humor. You always make me laugh and I love you for that.”

“You’re selfless, and you always try to do the right thing even though it’s hard.”

“You’re an amazing fighter and I can always trust you to keep me safe.”

“I like that you’re a good whistler.”

“I like that you’re a good singer.”

“The way your mask doesn’t quite cover the freckles on your nose.”

“Your dimples. And I think you’re adorable when you laugh.”

Chat Noir sighed. “I think you’re beautiful.”

It wasn’t like any of the other times he complimented her. This one melted into her skin and made her heart race until she was sure her entire face was warming under her gaze. She decided to stop holding herself back and speak honestly for once. “And I think you’re incredibly handsome.”

She could practically see his chest expand at the compliment, and for a moment it felt like everything around them had slipped away into nothing and it was just the two of them sitting here with each other and reveling in what made the other perfect. The two of them didn’t often have the opportunity to learn so much about each other and peek into each other’s hearts. Ladybug wished they’d done this sooner because somehow, without her realizing it, Chat Noir looked different to her. More charming, more human, more vulnerable, and more humble. Really, at the end of the day, he was a person who only wanted from the world as much as he put into it. It wasn’t much to ask at all, and Ladybug felt that maybe…yes, she _did_ feel like giving Chat Noir all the beauty that he deserved but had been cruelly denied.

In the back of that quiet café with only the hum of traffic and gentle music from the radio up front to fill the silent, Ladybug thought that maybe she could allow herself the room to start to loving him a little more. The idea wasn’t so ridiculous or impossible anymore. If anything now that he was here, wrapped around her with his soft breaths tickling the underside of her chin, loving him had never felt easier.

Maybe this silly little article had something behind it.

She pressed her lips to the top of his head and saw that they only had two questions left in the second set. “This thing is a little repetitive. Twenty-three and twenty-four are about our families and our mothers, but I think we’ve beat that topic to death.”

“I have,” Chat Noir clarified. “You haven’t told me anything about your family or your mother.”

“I feel bad talking about my family,” she confessed.

“Don’t feel bad about it,” he urged. “Seriously, don’t dwell too much on how I grew up. I want to hear how lovely your family is, honest.”

“I mean, there’s not much to tell,” Ladybug shrugged. “They were wonderful. They loved me just enough. They hugged and kissed me before I went to bed every night. They supported me in everything I wanted to do. I don’t have one horrible thing to say about them. The only thing I can really say about my mother is that she always has high expectations for me. It’s a cultural thing I think. She always wants me to constantly push harder and do better until I’m the best I can be, but I don’t see that as a bad thing. She also happens to give really amazing advice.”

“What’s the best piece of advice she ever gave you?” Chat Noir asked.

“That the thing I should be willing to fight, struggle, and work hardest for is love,” Ladybug said. “Love always comes with obstacles and battles that seem impossible to overcome. But if you can survive them, you’ll be rewarded with a feeling so raw and simple that it becomes the single most important thing you’ll ever own. Love is beautiful because it requires you to try.”

Chat Noir’s eyes softened. “That’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah. I thought so too.”

Soon, the hostess came to their table and told them that the café would be closing in just a few minutes. Neither of them were eager to go back out into the cold since it was so late, but they still had twelve questions left to answer and they were far too invested in finishing to even think about calling it a night. Ladybug didn’t think before she pecked Chat Noir on the cheek and asked him, “Where to next?”

“Wanna visit Notre Dame?” Chat Noir offered. “We haven’t been there in a while. It’ll be nice and cozy inside and we’ll have the place to ourselves.”

Ladybug perked up. “Can we sit underneath the rose window again?”

“You read my mind,” he agreed. “If we’re careful, I think we can maybe sneak some of the pastries in with us too.”


End file.
